Unfortunately, money has the power to make or break our well-being, and the fundamental elements that make us who we are. It can control our identities, our self-esteem, and our future dreams. I’m not a therapist, but I’ve spent decades helping people get out of debt and take control of their financial lives. If you’re thinking about filing for bankruptcy or you’ve already filed, perhaps you should consider the follow suggestions, to help you with the emotional hardship you might be experiencing.

Take some time to let yourself experience feelings of sadness, anger, loss, shame, etc. Come to terms with those feelings, and in time, let go of those feelings and move forward.

When it comes to important deicisions and actions in life, making a mistake is often acceptable, but making the same mistake twice is not. This shows you haven’t taken the time to reflect on the situation, examine what you’ve done wrong, and try to improve. Take steps to ensure your future financial security. Make a budget, etc. This effort to stay smart about money will only help your self-esteem, and it will prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself.

With a job, a wife, and kids, chances are you don’t have a whole bunch of free time to learn new in-depth skills, but whenever you have some free time, ask a friend to teach you how to design a website, read a book on sign language, etc. If you lose your job in tough economic times, your resume is going to have to stand out from all of the other folks looking for jobs. Again, learning these skills will help your self-esteem, and it will help decrease the chances that you will find yourself in a bad financial position a second time.

In contemporary society, so much of the “self” is defined by the material positions we have and what our particular salaries are.

Many people look down on others for not driving a state-of-the-art car, or not having the large plasma TV. We’ve forgotten what happiness should be: family, friends, sharing with others, and new experiences. You shouldn’t need everything your neighbor has in order to be happy.

Let go of resentment and blame you have for yourself. Although you might feel that filing bankruptcy means that your life is over, you should really see it as a fresh start.